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Suffering Is Not a Glitch- Part One

John Allen is back to face what is.

What am I?

Suffering is not a glitch. It’s a call to pay  attention to what you are having an argument with in reality.With what is.  With God. And guess what?  You will lose every fuckin’ time if you go toe to toe with God. LOL Just saying

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Not Dead Yet Part 2

John Allen survives yet another battle with “what is”.

meditation, questioning,critical thinking,

what the fuck is happening now?

who am i?

who cares?

Fuck it


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Let Your Indulgence Set me Free

Prospero and what is.

All suffering is an argument with what is.

Suffering is not a glitch.

Allow suffering to be.



Party down.


Let your indulgence set me free


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Excuse the Indulgence

John Allen and what is.

00:09 Deconstruction of musical mirror. Brown Sugar cultural time capsule.

01:45 Don’t want that in the mirror. Don’t want that in the mirror

02:33 Groundlings demanding a different ending for Hamlet.

4:00 Cinema Verite: Taking a sip of coffee.

06:36 So much for Cinema Verite

07:47 People think Trump is the epitome of an American businessman because he played one on TV.

09:00 A little aside about ex girlfriends. Yuuch. Cinema Verite

10:15 We’ve been really good friends but I had to have a heart attack.

11:00 Walking the walk and talking the talk.

11:45 Feeling better is taking a pill

13:16 Maybe this is the one. One what?

14:05 I get these little periods of bliss and then they just kinda run out of gas.

15:44 Every once in a while one of them will come off the ground that I haven’t seen before.

!5:45 I really am a horrible lying hypocritical asshole.

15:46 Oh and a leech.

17:08 Wait for thunderbolt. No thunderbolt.

19:40 It’s like being a parent again. Ooops. Again. Still. Right. I am a parent still.

20:20 I have to be responsible. Is it true?

21:27 Amateur Lesbian Porn

24:15 The worst for a guy. It’s okay.

24:40 Viagra. The boys on the bench.

26:00 I knew a guy who blew a guy’s head off with a shotgun.

26:05 Wrote a play about it.

27:00 Upper Canada boys.

29:15 Engagement theory

30:41 Boys run them like dogs

32:00 Homework. Worthless.

33:00 1971. I thought that was what the world would always be like.

34:33 The Stones.

37:00 We the people couldn’t handle it.So we gave it back

39:35 Sounding tired. Sorry

40:24 OJ Simpson trial. The Usurping of public power. Monarchy is back.

42:00 Going into hope and I dont want to go into hope but…

43:00 Trump as a trip wire waking up the people; The beauty of the American system

46:00 I always wanted to be a cop when I played as a kid so I could be in charge.

47:00 Friendships are tough.

48:00 Slipping into senility.

48:23 Bad reading of the Hollow Men. Indulgence.

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Snitch Culture

John Allen and what is.

00:30 You say you want a revolution

1:55 I like the battle of Stalingrad as much as the next guy

2:22 True confessions.

3:08 My friend Dave

4:00 Another Cassandra moment

4:35 Terrific bang…Yuuch…I didn’t like the way I said that. At all

5:05 No no no we are just friends.

5:50 Lets face it Old Guys are not great.

6:30 I’ll just dance by myself and look at the floor.

7:00 Snitch culture

7:45 High falutin’

9:03 I just don’t talk to anybody. It’s easier.

9:45 When they take over they aren’t going to be very nice to the people they take over from…Just guessin’

10:50 Okay not cheering about somebody being shot. Making a point about the media acting like a squirrel on speed.

14:00 Lets rat each other out.

15:30 They are showing you who they are…

17:20 Purity test

18:15 You are the one who is high and mighty

19:00 We come in wholes not parts

20:00 PTSD dating flash back

21:50 Jazz baby jazz

23:00 The Soon Come

25:02 Those gals they brought it down

26:15 Sex clubs and dancing.

29:25 I don’t want to know anymore.

30:20 This is actually funny

31:00 Dick farm

32:00 The dream: Commenting about myself commenting about myself.

32:30 Snitch culture

33:15 Ooops…raised my voice…

34:00 If I say chick and it just makes you fucking crazy…

39:00 Don’t die for your country let the other poor dumb fucker die for his.

41:00 Twinkly lights. My origin story

42:00 I had to find out. What happened? Where did those people go? Where will I go?

45:25 There is nothing as horny as a married guy.

47:00 That Soon Come feeling.

48:07 I didn’t get to talk about how I feel like I am going to die all the time. Too bad.

49:00 Speaking about dying…

49:30 Quick Dad story.

51:00 Where was I?





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Babylon- The Looking Glass Self.

John Allen takes on what is. Its a draw. Nah. What is always wins.

And of course Amateur Lesbian Porn.


See. I told ya I would do it.

2:17 Requiem for the Pandemic


05:58 Amateur Lesbian Porn Revisited

6:50 If ya gotta rub one out for sleep I get it.

8:30 I’m going to be living in a maytag box

9:10 I am not who I think I am. I am not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am.

10:30 The looking glass self

11:30 The past is created from here

12:45 Breaking News: We are all going to die. We are always in the present.

13:30 It seems so fucking obvious.

13:45 After a certain age you got no fucking excuse.

15:15 We are going to defund the police force. Bad marketing idea.

15:45 Mr and Mrs. Anywhere: What the fuck? You want to get rid of the police force?

16:25 Have any of you met anybody who is a really bad guy?

17:30 Freaking out about saying “you know” while I talk about my Dad going to jail.

18:30 I don’t want your blood money. Just let me get in my Jaguar.

19:40 The Fugue. Do the fugue.

20:00 Most people want to talk about how to feel better. I want to talk about getting in their pants.Bummer.

20:45 Repeating myself. Triggered memory of old girl friend hating me for repeating myself. That’s three times you told me that.

23:30 Shocked out of your thoughts. Shocked out of your yourself.

24:40 Am I having a heart attack?

24:50 How would I do these notes?

24:30 I’ll show you. I’ll give it to you for free. Fuck you Return on Investment culture.

26:00 Defence Mechanism Alert: I was a good parent because I didn’t want kids.

27:30 You know what I mean Jelly bean.

28:04 Investigations. Yoga. Ex girlfriends.

29:00 If you feel bad about the protest.

29:10 I am Cassandra. I dont look good in a dress.

29:00 Best sex Apollo ever had.

31:00 Awful confession. Among many.

31:30 Hard time on the blower.

32:00 The thing that you see in the protests you can see in yourself.

33:00 Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others. Churchill.

36:00 Nice sweet story about a stoned cold killer.

37:30 Should I tell that story? The Mr. Peanut story. No. But then I did. Figures.

38:45 A red neck tie

39:30 Memory…a compost heap of a poetic image.

43:00 Memory are episodes and are constructed from here.

44:50 John says hi.







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Not a War When You Can Get Take out

John Allen and what is.

Tie goes to the runner.

1:45 Hassle

2:23 We gots no balls… no offence to eunuchs

3:20 Eclectic guy

3:45 Rioting is kind of a gas

4:20 Putting porn in all the titles.

4:50 lesbian porn

5:24 I’ve gotten awful Zen. I hit a three wood off the carpet.

6:30 Elephant in the room

9:23 Empathy is an act of imagination

10:30 The don’t know place

11:45 Wooo hoo  the call…wake the fuck up

12:40 Man that’s work

14:00 Go to the worst place right away

17:30 If I did that today they would take me out to the ditch and shoot me like a dog

19:00 If you reward people for greed. Big surprise when they act greedy.

21:00 Not a war…not when you can get take out

22:30 How can I go dancing?

23:15 Boring myself here…who the fuck cares what I eat…fuck off…I hate this guy

24:00 How do we deal with racism? Look inside. There is a place inside you that despises you.

26:15 Shut the fuck up man…I was just thinking that…

27:02 I was addicted to a woman and I guess I always have been.

28:45 Why is this guy laughing?

29:50 Let’s start with being battered.

32:30 Terrible job. Keeping the status quo static.

32:45 Bad singing

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Not Here. Not Now. No Thing

John Allen and what is.

0:50 Mothers day spike.

1:40 Making jokes as a defence mechanism. Whew LOL

2:25 Lets start with something right off the bat: I don’t know shit

3:32 Everything I have done is for a little bit of time.

4:20 I hate who I am when I am with other people

5:30 Viewer mail: Love me love please love me.

6:01 GPS locating in brain produces lots of good shit.

6:35 The buddhists…LOL

7:26 Gapped out like an old guy or doing a Joe Biden

8:00 Embarrassing moment for me listening to this part…more embarrassing than usual that is.

8:50 The Buddhists again.

9:30 What the fuck is this?

10:15 True confession: I was a rich kid and I didn’t like to suffer.

11:40 The whole point of parenting is that you are going to get it wrong. Whew LOL

11:50 Every action produces good and bad consequences and whether it is good or bad depends on where you are judging it from.

14:00 Viewer mail: Falling off the wagon

15:00 I’m interested in suffering.

16:18 I was an angry guy what can I say?

16:40 I didn’t have to fix the traffic jam.

17:50 You can’t die before your time.

18:30 Why all of you are juicing…

20:00 When I get a grab in the stomach I know something is coming.

20:20 Juicing again

21:20 Attention is love

23:00 The sound of mind.

24:31 Drink a bottle of scotch and your mind will slow down and then shut right down when your head hits the table

24:35 Satori. Bliss. Until you wake up in the empty pizza box.

27:30 The fifth of vodka my mother used to hide in the dishwasher

28:15 In this moment we have everything we need or we would be dead.

30:00 Watch

31:13 The one story in the universe. The hurricane that never ends.

31:30 I want to have a drink

34:10 Where do you feel that anxiety?

35:00 Am I proselytizing? Ya think? Asshole LOL

36:00 Labels

36:30 Looking past the image of your foot.

37:03 Don’t think about a Pink Elephant

38:15 Oh oh…Why is he doing this? Is this pretentious? Yikes…What do you think this is? Headspace?

41:28 Be with the tree man…Sheesh

42:00 Joe Biden gaffed. I thought it was a good joke. You ain’t black. Come on Man…LOL

44:20 Don’t misunderestimate the Trumpster.  Remember Steve Atwater.

45:20 “I just lost the south for a generation.” LBJ on signing Civil rights Act legislation. He was wrong. Its been three generations.

47:35 You survived so many things that you didn’t think you had a shot at…

48:27 Boo hoo

48:30 Some advice and a  segue.

50:00 Have I fucked this up? Fifty minutes that’s long enough for anybody.

50:19 Didn’t seem to be. Bonus part 2. Really? You have more to say? Lordy

50:35 On the porch after doing some yard work.

52:00 99 percent of people make the dumplings

53:00 The mind is constantly trying to figure shit out.

54:00 The bird singing is technical and adaptive. It had to learn to sing then had to forget what it learned.

55:16 Fuckin’ heaven. Maybe I am a hippie.

57:00 Finger waggin’

58:00 Viral cloud of death

59:07 Not here. Not now. No thing

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Not Dead Yet

John Allen and what is.

0:30   I’ve been walking and talking. Everything is a groove

1:20 What the fuck is going on right now?

2:00 Not Suffering when you are falling off a cliff.

3:12 If we all believe the same story we can all get together and kill things

6:00 What are you going to do?

7;00 Fairy tales, fairy tales

8:40 If you are feeling bad then it’s because you think this moment should be different

9:15 Case study…Blah blah

10:50 Wanting can be fun and desire creates suffering. We’re fucked

11:45 this moment is exactly as it should be

13:02 Your mind makes up a lot of bullshit. That’s it job.

15:00 things appear and dissolve in us

15:45 I’ve been running from the cops for years but now glass cases

16:00 Did he just have a stroke?

17:30 All you can be sure of in this moment is I am and I am  right fucking now

21:00 It just doesn’t work out the way you thought it was going to

23:00 The creative space is a not knowing place and we don’t like it.

25:00 2 out of 15 is about right in terms of the covid

26:30 Viewer mail

28:00 let go of the anchor

30:00 God willing. Its just this

31:00 Mom Dad meet the folks

31:22 Dad stop blinking

32:00 This is fucking heaven and its all gone.

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By the Way…

John Allen and “what is” fight it out again. Same result.

0:30 Ahhh fuck it…clouds of viral load

2:15 Fire through dry grass- What does it all mean?

6:00 What’s the word I am looking for- Stupid. That’s the word. Stupid.

7:35 In twenty five years who is going to spike the ball

8:15 Trying to remember where to pee

10:40 CNN Headline- Caesar conquers Gaul and tweets rant about Pompey

11:45 Roosevelt, Goebbels, Trump…

13:00 What’s it all mean Alfie?

14:00 It’s not the fact that the guy is an asshole…It’s that you think he shouldn’t be an asshole

17:00 It’s difficult to have sex without emotion…Oh God…What does  that make me?

18:00 When the cuff goes around the wrist…they always test it and then relax

19:45 An encyclopedia of hassles…

20:45 The Pandemic agrees with me. Will I get in trouble?

22:00 The Rickster quit his job before it started. Isn’t that fantastic?

25:00 Peter Pan going through the window. “Fuck. My back. Wendy? I hurt my back.”

27:45 Farmers. That’s what they are like (See 14:00 above)

29:30 Can you imagine what the United States would be today if Lincoln had let the South leave?

31:30 Its going to be amazing ladies and gentlemen how much privacy you are going to lose?

32:20 Old guy moment googling. What’s that guy’s name again?

35:00  Fridge door open spooning down the ice cream

38:00 The mask thing is a tell.

40:00  I didn’t want to have children. Somebody needier than me.

42:45 I’m a lousy therapist. I don’t have a lot of time.

43:45 Buddha’s first noble truth. A hassle.

44:30 Buddhist Bells.

45:00 Why the fuck am I doing the dishes?

45:20 Why isn’t someone else doing the dishes?

46:00 The most intimate relationship you are going to have in your life is with your own thoughts.

48:09 I’m not invested. I got other things to hang myself for.

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